Pasty faced teenagers Gavin and Phillip, better known as Distended, will be available for dates later this month, just as soon as Gavin Distended gets his GCSEs out of the way. The pair have had a meteoric rise to fame following their appearance on ITV’s ‘Britain’s Got People’ where they DJed whilst wearing shirts. In the four months since then, they’ve released their debut album, their difficult second album and their comeback album and clocked up a number of Spotify plays so large that there isn’t enough space on this screen to fit all the zeros in.
Such is the pace of the industry these days, we’re expecting Distended to descend into dysfunction and debauchery over the next months with one of them eventually emerging via a difficult journey through rehab as a reformed Buddhist. The other one will probably end up scraping out a living prostituting his meagre ‘personality’ and novelty value in the world of satellite TV and personal appearances. But all being well, the pair will be available for club gigs and festival bookings in the coming weeks, although nothing after 11 pm at night, Phillip is just unbearable if he doesn’t get his eight hours. Call Charmaine at the agency if you fancy experiencing what it’s like being a childminder for an evening.