Plans For a Tory Festival “Sound Utterly Dire” Says Everyone

In a move clearly in tune with a nation divided over Brexit, concerned over about the National Health Service, and worried about global nuclear war, plans for a ‘Tory Party Festival’ have been unveiled, to an underwhelming response from everyone.

Prinks received an email this morning from the DJ Regulatory body OFFSPIN which we are happy to reprint here in full:

We asked some of the biggest UK DJs what they thought of the idea of a Tory Festival:

Huge Jackman
“Tory Festival? What they gonna call it, Upper Classtonbury? Platitude Festival? Worstival?”

Gavin Distended
“Well, I’m not old enough to vote yet, but when I am, I’ll definitely vote for Corbyn, he warmed up for us at Fabric, his set was fire you know.”

MC Toolz “Yeah I’ll do it, what’s the fee?”