Are there things that we’ll never hear a DJ say?

We all know what DJs say. They tell us really cool things about analogue warmth, the smooth action of a rotary mixer, or they can be super interesting if you get them on formats too. They’ll let you know exactly when they had this on promo mate, and perhaps best of all, most DJs will happily tell you about their gig this evening and slip you a flyer, even if it’s your wedding day.

However, it’s opposite day here at Prinks, we have a few of these every year, it keeps the staff on their toes; so here is a quick list of things that we believe you will never hear a working DJ say:


1. My set is too long, hey next DJ, have half an hour of my set time.

2. I hope there’s some blank faced teenagers staring intently at my mixing technique this evening.

3. I need some screaming, drink-spilling people to come and dance in the DJ booth, is anyone available?

4. Hey, is it anyone’s birthday?!

5. Everyone get your phone out and stare at it.

6. Any requests? Seriously, has anyone got any requests? Please, come and tell me what you want me to play.

7. You want me to play your track off your phone? Of course.

8. Is there anyone available to spit a few bars over my tunes?

9. To be honest, the format that I’m currently committed to is vastly inferior to others that I could use.

10. My generic sample-pack tech-fodder is just as relevant, meaningful and valid as anyone else’s.

11. Yeah, I know, I can’t believe that I haven’t got any Drake or Rhianna either.

12. Right, who wants to come and do a cheeky reload?


Got any more? Send us your examples of things DJs never say, and if they’re funny enough, and there’s enough of them, we might cobble together a second article. Don’t forget to include a link to your podcast or radio show, because we’ll definitely 100% check it out!*


*We won’t check it out. But we’ll definitely 100% include a link to it on the site if we use your contribution!**

** We won’t.