Here at Prinks we love a bit of Twitter. The wit, the brevity, the savage, instantaneous witch-hunts, what’s not to like? So we’ve gathered together a few of our favourite Tweets that popped up on our timeline this year:
New Order are a trio of hard hitting detectives in ITV1's new police drama "Blue Mondays". pic.twitter.com/RIZDTTXLyk
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) March 13, 2017
Promoter: And remember, there are no stupid questions
DJ: *raises hand
Promoter: I thought I was clear, no stupid questions
— prinks (@prinksmusic) October 11, 2017
New, very favourite photo. ❤️💛💚💙💜 pic.twitter.com/iX7q439ZQB
— amanda abbington (@CHIMPSINSOCKS) July 20, 2017
This is what happens when Canadians fight online:
When Canadians fight on Twitter. pic.twitter.com/kVyRYTOcQs
— Brosephine Wires (@JoParkerBear) May 28, 2017
This little beauty is a few years old now, but it’s something of a classic:
I'd love to get in touch with Emilio Esteves. Does anyone have his emailio addressteves?
— Shocko based on the novel Push by Sapphire (@shockproofbeats) November 16, 2012
Pissed-off drummer is tired of people saying he's not a real musician. Goes to the music store and says, "I'll show 'em. Gimme that red trumpet and that accordion." Music store guy says, "You can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator has to stay.
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 28, 2017
In Stockport, a Miracle. pic.twitter.com/rkOf3LFhlP
— Tommy Ogden (@tommyogden) December 13, 2017
Ask today's rappers to name a type of horse. Sure, they'll mention shire or Clydesdale. Or even Shetland pony. But they forgot about dray
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) August 15, 2017
"Hello, I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin" pic.twitter.com/S008uaY3cm
— prinks (@prinksmusic) September 21, 2017
D'Artagnan: [after 10 years of musket training] I'm finally ready to be a Musketeer!
Athos: great, let's see your sword fighting abilities
D'Artagnan: my what now
— Elvish Presley (@_ElvishPresley_) December 4, 2017
DARTH VADER: I am your father
LUKE: Buy me some jeans then
DV: *reluctantly hands over money* …You better actually buy jeans with this
— Jill la Jill (@JillianKarger) July 3, 2017
You're floating down the river of life towards a place called death, in a boat called work. #MondayMotivaton
— Wefail (@wefail) August 21, 2017
Overheard, Friday night, guy to DJ:
“Hey, nice tempo. 122 right? Nice, nice tempo.”
— prinks (@prinksmusic) December 18, 2017
Shout to DJs disowning their title and becoming “selectors” because it sounds cooler
— Luke FM Solomon (@lukesolomon) August 25, 2017
Washing machine or festival line-up? pic.twitter.com/8SCjeysYlP
— Rachel Burns (@RachJBurns) August 26, 2017
DJs, if you've got any gigs coming up, make sure you let us all know the weight of your vinyl, is it 140 gramme vinyl, or 180? Cheers.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) October 29, 2017
I don't need fun to have alcohol
— Miss Texas 1967 (@MsTexas1967) August 28, 2017
Then there was #RuinABandInOneLetter:
— prinks (@prinksmusic) September 2, 2017
This one was much funnier than ours:
Dear Police Force
The lead singer touched me inappropriately at a concert. 😬
Am I doing this right 🤔😂
— Happy Christmas Cub 🐻🎄🎁🎀☃️🎅🤶 (@CubCultured) September 2, 2017
And throughout it all there was Tech House, butt of our jokes, target of our ire, home to all our genre snobbery:
Tech house DJs distancing themselves from tech house while still playing tech house is the new tech house
— Dean Muhsin (@DeanMuhsin) September 1, 2017
Fidget spinners were briefly a thing in the summer, so in an attempt to appear contemporary we worked them into this tweet:
*Sober on Soundcloud* can't upload my new jam yet, needs a few tweak
*Drunk on Soundcloud* CHECK OUT THE SOUND OF MY FUCKEN FIDGET SPINNER
— prinks (@prinksmusic) September 7, 2017
Perhaps Twitter is at its best when summing up the terrifying descent into a post-apocalyptic nightmare that we do rather seem headed towards at the moment:
2007: It's called a smart phone, it can do everything!
2017: Stare into the nightmare rectangle and watch society collapse in real time
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 11, 2017
A descent perfectly illustrated by the growing flat earth movement, bless em:
[during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
— Mave (@MavenofHonor) January 26, 2016
In September, everyone in dance music became briefly knowledgeable Jeremy Underground, post-gig saunas and bizarrely aggressive agents:
It's been hours and still nothing from Corbyn about Jeremy Underground. Typical.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) September 13, 2017
“Nah, I’m good bruv”
— Neon Trotski (@Bluecookie) September 14, 2017
We like this one simply because Prince:
— COMMON (@common) September 14, 2017
— Irish Archaeology (@irarchaeology) September 22, 2017
Possible contender for best joke incubated in an after party this year was this:
Did you hear about the DJ who got addicted to UK Garage?
He had to go into a 2 Step programme.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) September 25, 2017
And winner of the 2017 award for best joke about old buildings goes to:
HOLY SHIT WE'RE OLD BRICK BUILDINGS
NO FUCKING WAY MATE pic.twitter.com/Xqu5PTagA8
— Regular Frog (@FrogCroakley) October 14, 2017
DJs bigging up their “2 hr sets” are like chefs boasting they “will cook some food” or accountants bragging “i’ll do some counting today"
— prinks (@prinksmusic) October 30, 2017
Add this to the ‘Jokes we wish we’d thought of’ file:
I for one am glad to see the NOW! series jumping on the ambient tape label trend. pic.twitter.com/l3QThWWGay
— Mike Devine (@mikethedevine) October 30, 2017
Anyone else feel like we’ve lost sight of the true meaning of Black Friday..?
— Harold Heath (@HaroldHeathDJ) November 23, 2017
Instructions for plugging a USB stick into a CDJ or computer:
1). No, not that way, turn it over, yep that's it.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) November 15, 2017
We really liked this advice on how best to send demos to labels:
How to properly send demos to your favorite artists: (1) find their snapchat (2) snap multiple pixelated videos of your DAW playing your new banger (ONLY the drop) – be sure to turn up your monitors loud enough so there is plenty of distortion. Shake camera for added effect
— spencer (@Spencer_Brown) November 28, 2017
Want to know what your DJ name is?
Simply look at a flyer for an event you DJed at.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) December 6, 2017
Barry Manilow killing it:
I know. I’ll run for president. I’ll make some romantic music. Everybody will get laid. And everybody will be happy again. 😀
— Barry Manilow (@barrymanilow) December 21, 2017
And then finally New Years Eve rolls into view:
If you play Livin' Joy's 'Dreamer' at 11:58 and 33 seconds on New Years Eve, at exactly midnight everyone will punch your face in.
— prinks (@prinksmusic) December 20, 2017
You're gonna get nervous and fuck up hitting play on that song at the exact right time on New Year's Eve.
— Tyler Mahan Coe (@TylerMahanCoe) December 22, 2017
And let’s finish on this because it hasn’t stopped being funny yet:
walk into the club like pic.twitter.com/Dp4rcdI0pj
— Valerie Loftus (@valerieloftus) March 10, 2017