Come, sit by the warm glow of your screen as we tell you the tale of the old, old DJs…
“Hey, wait, we really need a DJ…”
The sad reality of Kev’s barbeque
Market forces are circling D-Greys like vultures, trying to sell them clocks made from old vinyl records. This demographic is already being heavily targetted with events like Hacienda Classical, Gatecrasher on Ice, Celebrity Come Shoom With Me, and the hugely successful West End musical ‘We Will Techno You’, based on the classic Detroit Techno songbook.
Get a proper job
So what are we to do with a generation of ex DJs? Can we put them to use? If only being able to listen to two similarly-but-not-quite beat matched pieces of music and then make minor adjustments to bring them into sync with each other was a transferable skill, that they could take on to a new career. We’d be brilliant at it, the UK, we’d have thousands of highly trained beat-matching experts, we’d be famous for it worldwide. However, there aren’t really any other jobs that require this particular skill. Much like whale-blubber fishermen at the dawn of the age of electricity, D-Greys have a skill set that is precisely specialised, highly niche and virtually useless. Little did they know, those deep sea whalers, that a hundred years later deep house DJs would be their parallel and they would have much in common: their beards, their decks, their afinity with all things deep and their outmoded and un-needed skill sets.